What if Only Adam Bit the Apple? Page 6

last made a public appearance and the Serpent's absence was a source of a pervasive sadness throughout Babylon and beyond. What had happened to the Serpent? Why had he been gone so long? Didn't he realize how much he was loved and how much he was missed? Had he been offended in some way? Was he not getting the honor he so richly deserved? No one really knew. Everyone wanted answers.

  And nowhere was the Serpent more missed than in the hallowed corridors of the School of Serpentology. The faculty and students had somewhat adapted to this culture shock. They had learned to get by without the Serpent's tutelage, but it was a change that no one wanted. Students studied hard and listened carefully to their esteemed professors, but it just wasn't the same. Nothing could compare to listening to the Serpent in person! For the faculty, there was a sense of loss of a golden and now bygone era. They were on their own now and without their cherished friend and mentor. Whenever the subject came up in class, it was not uncommon to see tenured professors come to tears as they tried to come to terms with this most disturbing and inexplicable loss.

  But then an amazing thing happened: Word spread that the Serpent would soon be making a personal appearance at Babylon University! There was a palpable excitement in the air as students and faculty alike marveled at the unexpected wonderful news!

  The appearance would be for professionals only and the topic was: "The Current State of the Art and Science of Serpentology." Serpentologists, doctors, lawyers and other professionals, from throughout the Queendom and beyond, made reservations to appear. It was one of those events which simply could not be missed.

  Due to the anticipated high turnout, the presentation would be held at the new Babylon University stadium, home of the Babylon Serpents. The Serpents were the new world champions in the game of the day, which was a combination of soccer and physical combat. Everyone at Babylon U knew of their incredible victory over the Philistine Demons; the winning point was scored after a Serpent crashed through the Demon defensive line and clocked the goalie! It was a proud moment that no one at Babylon U would ever forget.

  But, as the day of the big event approached, a driving rain without letup made it clear that the event would need to be moved indoors. So the event was moved to Serpent Hall, the University's indoor amphitheater. This meant, of necessity, that attendance would have to be limited. But this was also a blessing in disguise: The amphitheater would allow for discussion and professional interaction that would not have been possible at the stadium.

  Everyone was in a festive and collegial mood as they entered the theater. And why not? They were going to be a part of history. They were going to be a part of making a better future for humanity. Who knows what great wisdom the Serpent might impart? After all, It had been years since the Serpent had last made a public appearance.

  As the hour approached for the Serpent to speak, everyone looked with anticipation; it seemed that everyone wanted to be the first to spot the Serpent. But where was he? Fifteen minutes until the speech, then ten minutes, then five—there was no trace of the Serpent! Why was the Serpent not slithering in to greet everyone? Where was their beloved spiritual leader? What could possibly have happened? What if the Serpent did not show up?

  A sense of dread began to come over the crowd as there was only a minute left and still no trace of the Serpent. Everyone looked down and was sad. Serpent hall, though it was packed, was so quiet you could hear a pin drop.

  But then, there was an incredible miracle! Everyone's dread turned to amazement and elation as the Serpent appeared at the podium out of thin air! And he was right on time. The Serpent just appeared! No one would have believed this was even possible if they had not seen it with their own eyes. Everyone gave the Serpent a standing ovation and their ecstatic applause seemed like it would never end!

  The Serpent took the podium and smiled broadly as he looked around at everyone. He was relaxed and in no hurry. It was clear that he enjoyed seeing everyone. But finally, he motioned to the crowd and everyone calmed down and took their seats. The amphitheater again became very quiet. There were just so many questions and nobody wanted to miss anything.

  And the Serpent, sensing that everybody had questions, said "I see everyone has a lot of questions. Maybe I should start by just answering some of those questions." And hands arose all over the amphitheater.

  The Serpent took the first question from a newly licensed serpentologist: "How did you do that? How did you just appear out of thin air?"

  "This is nothing new for me. I have always been able to be visible or invisible as I please. Just because you don't see me, doesn't mean I am not with you. Next question."

  The questions followed in rapid succession, one after another.

  "Why have you been gone so long?" The Serpent smiled: "I have not been gone at all. I haven't gone anywhere. I simply have not been visible."

  "But why?" The Serpent again smiled. "To see how well I have trained you? Just as parents like to see their children grow up and become successful on their own, I have the same desire for you."

  "What do you mean on our own?" The Serpent became more serious: "I trained you for a purpose; to bring healing and enlightenment to the world. But right now your influence is limited because of your association with me. Churches still teach that I am evil and doctors view serpentology as a religion and me as your spiritual leader. This needs to change. This is the last time I will ever appear in public. I will still be with you, but you will see me no more."

  A hushed silence came over the crowd. There was a sense of incredulity that was felt by everyone.

  "What would serpentology be without a Serpent? You taught us to ignore God and rely on your teachings and on our own understanding. But now you are leaving us?"

  The Serpent appeared touched: "I will NEVER leave you nor forsake you. I will always be with you, even to the very end. Just because you don't see me, doesn't mean I am not with you. Just because I'm not visible, does not mean I am not helping you. My spirit will always be present to guide and direct you. And, as you meditate on my teachings and on clinical theories based on these sound principles, I will be available all the more."

  "But we will miss you!" The Serpent sighed: "I will also miss talking to you face to face. It feels so good just to fellowship with you as before. Just looking around, I can see the amazing progress that all of you have made. Some of you even used to go to church. Don't worry, I won't mention names!"

  There was, for the first time, an outpouring of levity. Everyone looked around at their fellow professionals with a joy that could only come about from guessing who might be guilty of such a gross dark secret! And, for a time, it seemed like the laughter would never end. But finally, everyone calmed down.

  "What do we say about God?" The Serpent again sighed: "People really don't like God. They don't want to be told how to live. They'd like to forget that He even exists. And it would be beneficial if they did. Maybe we should help them."

  "But how?" The Serpent smiled: "We are the light of the world. We are the professionals that people turn to in time of need. Since God no longer appears in public, let's start by not even endorsing His very existence. Instead of saying 'God,' just say 'higher power' and that whatever 'higher power' the client chooses to believe in is something you can support. In time, people will come to question the very existence of God."

  "Maybe we could go even farther and say that there is a scientific explanation of how men and women came into existence. Maybe we could say that humans evolved from a lower form of life—say turkeys!" Everyone in the audience cracked up. The Serpent also laughed and said: "You are working too hard. You're spending way too much time with your clients!" But then the Serpent started to contemplate what had just been said. It was as though a light went off and their was a note of pure admiration in his countenance. He looked straight at the young serpentologist and said: "You know, you may actually have something there. Certainly not turkeys, but evolution from say—monkeys—might actually be believable. I'll have to give that some thought.
" But the mood soon turned more serious.

  "Getting back to a previous question, what exactly is a serpentologist without a Serpent. You are our teacher and inspiration. You give us credibility. What will we be without you?" The Serpent became very serious: "You call yourselves 'serpentologists' and it is well that you should because you are, indeed, my disciples. And if you hold to my teachings, the truths I have taught you will spread throughout the world. I have given you everything I have to offer. But now that I am leaving, you must learn to call yourself by a new name. You must no longer use the term serpentologist."

  "But we love you and want to honor you." The Serpent replied: "I am honored by the very work that you do. I am not proud. It is not important to me that I get the credit. On the contrary, I would rather that you get the all the credit."

  "But why?" The Serpent replied: "Remember, you are the light of the world. But in order for you to become more influential, your profession must be thought of by everyone as a science. And that is why we must maintain 'no God' and 'no Serpent.' It's for the good of humanity and the profession."

  "Ok, but then what do we say about you? Everybody knows you exist. Hell, this very amphitheater is called by your name!" The Serpent