What if Only Adam Bit the Apple? Page 4

Serpent, are evil and whose only function is to steal and kill and destroy. And that spiritual warfare is usually the cause of these problems. Thus, as a general rule, God and His teachings provide the only real solutions.

  It was taught that God allows painful trials in the lives of believers to increase their wisdom, develop their character and otherwise increase their usefulness for God; that these trials are there for a purpose.

  It was taught that God intends for non-believers to come to Him for solutions to their problems, not rely on their own wisdom and certainly not turn to the Serpent.

  However, as problems mounted, people did turn to the Serpent. And the Serpent rose to the occasion.

  The Serpent appeared visibly heartbroken at his appearance as he recounted all the suffering that was taking place. The people of Babylon were deeply moved by the concern and compassion of the Serpent and the Serpent became deeply loved throughout the land.

  The people looked to the Serpent as young children look to their parents in times of trouble. They needed answers. And who better to have confidence in than the beloved Serpent. So they listened carefully and expectantly, hanging on every word, less they should miss out on any gem of wisdom graciously imparted by the Serpent.

  "These are mental health issues," the Serpent taught. "They are no different than other problems with your health. And just as doctors do not yet understand how to treat all your health problems, we are just beginning to understand these mental health problems. These mental health issues are diseases. But there are now professionals that can help and we need more of them. And we need more research. I call on the Queen of Babylon to dedicate resources for the the recruitment and training of mental health professionals and for the advancement of the profession We need to ensure that individuals who suffer from mental illness get the best possible help we can give them." Everyone clapped enthusiastically and gave the Serpent a standing ovation.

  And he said this as the Queen of Babylon was listening in one of the premium front row seats, reserved for only the most important dignitaries.

  The Queen was a savvy politician. And while she owed her position to the support of tribal elders, she was always keen on how the political wind was blowing. Normally, she would resist calls that would diminish the royal treasury. The treasury belonged to her and she would do with it as she pleased. But the Queen was no match for the Serpent, and she knew it. So the Queen rose from her seat and took the podium, and all eyes focused on the Queen: "Nothing is more important to your Queen and her nobles than the welfare of her subjects. The gold and silver in the royal treasury belongs to the people and is intended only for their welfare. I will issue a decree to the Royal Treasurer so that the needed mental health professionals are trained and placed into service as soon as is humanly possible. And I will make sure that funds are available for needed clinical research. We will find viable mental health solutions."

  The people enthusiastically applauded the Queen and the Serpent thanked her for her support.

  The Queen also decreed that serpentologists would now receive royal licenses to practice their profession, just like medical doctors. This change had been sought by the Serpent.

  Up to this time, there was a shortage of trained serpentologists, The Serpent could only personally screen and train so many of these select professionals. But this was about to change.

  Up to now, the prestigious Babylon University had no facilities or staff to train mental health professionals. There was not a single serpentologist on its staff. However, with the funding provided by the Queen came the new School of Serpentology.

  This addition greatly enhanced the University. There were beautiful ornate structures constructed under the supervision of renowned architect Patricia the Great. Her great grandmother had been the genius behind the Queen's own opulent castle and its Eden-like gardens. Nothing like this had ever been seen by the Queen's royal subjects, except for those select nobles and other women who were privileged to visit the Queen's castle. The classrooms were state-of-the-art with marble floors and sculptures of the Serpent. Stone inscriptions of the Serpent's wisdom were found throughout the new campus.

  After the staff had been assembled, the University welcomed the first class of aspiring serpentologists with fanfare that hadn't been seen in Babylon since the Queen's coronation. This was a golden age in history. For the first time, society was dedicating its efforts to finding real solutions for the ills that had plagued humanity. For the first time, there was going to be a concerted effort made to find real mental health solutions and to establish a society where everyone could live in peace and security. And, with the best and brightest minds in Babylon—guided by the Serpent—success was most certainly at hand; it was only a matter of time!

  With serpentologists now on the University staff as fully credentialed professors and the Serpent's declaration than mental health concerns are, in fact, diseases, serpentologists sought to frame their profession as a science. But there was a problem: The doctors on staff could not bring themselves to view serpentology as a true science. These mental health problems could not really be categorized as true diseases. There was just no objective science there. And the methods serpentologists used defied any known scientific protocol; there was no way of really evaluating them. Therapeutic methods used could neither be validated nor refuted. So scientology was still viewed by doctors very much as a religion.

  This doesn't mean that doctors were not impressed by the Serpent. They had all heard the Serpent speak and most found that the Serpent's teachings had useful application in their medical practices. For example, when women would tell their doctors that they felt guilty about being unfaithful to their husbands, doctors would quote the Serpent's most famous gem of truth: "Nothing is right or wrong, but thinking makes it so."

  Serpentologists were, of course, all women. And while the Serpent had expressed the hope that someday men could also enter the profession, it was simply not possible given the culture. Women were leaders, warriors and protectors of the home. Men may not even survive without female protection. Women were also viewed as intellectually superior. No self-respecting woman would ever accept advice from a man. There was even a saying that had survived for centuries: "We don't need another Adam!"

  As more and more licensed serpentologists confronted the evils of society, there were some clear benefits: Teaching personal assertiveness was helpful for many people. And teaching clients to correct their negative thoughts had a number of useful applications, especially in regard to panic attacks.

  Serpentologists were also very good listeners. And men and women were indeed comforted as they shared the burdens of their hearts with sympathetic listeners. Men, especially, appreciated having a woman actually listen to them. It was, in many cases, a precious and novel experience; what was all too common was females simply barking orders.

  But serpentologists, despite their impressive credentials, were not all that successful at solving mental health problems, though there were some exceptions. Babylonians would usually keep coming back for therapy again and again.

  "I haven't seen any cures" was the common refrain as serpentologists discussed the clinical results of every type of therapy, with just about any clinical issue.

  The new professionals brought their concerns to the Serpent, who, like themselves, expressed heartfelt concern over the continuing suffering that was going on. They expected him to again encourage them to develop their clinical skills. And to continue to advance the profession with clinical research. But the Serpent would make a startling revelation that none of them could have imagined!

  "These are biopsychosocial problems," said the Serpent. "Yes I said BIOpsychosocial. Yes there are individual clinical issues. And, of course, family structural issues need to be addressed. But there is more to your profession: These mental health issues are very much brain diseases. You need to collaborate with the doctors: Effective treatments need to be developed so brain chemistry can be altered, so these chemical imbalances
can be corrected. Only then will your clients get the comprehensive care they need and deserve."

  It was a startling revelation! The entire room was quiet as serpentologists and serpentology students reacted with wonder and amazement at this ingenious new teaching. Of course! Why else would they not have been more successful? They were the best and the brightest. They had the best education in Babylon, in fact, in the entire world. And, if that were not enough, they even had the benefit of the Serpent's wisdom. They had failed because the task was impossible. Their clients needed medication.

  And public-spirited doctors and serpentologists began the monumental task of finding the needed medications.

  The status of serpentologists became elevated as they worked more and more closely with the doctors. And their status was elevated even more as they developed impressive-sounding clinical theories without the Serpent's direct involvement. The Serpent himself complimented the professionals for their hard work and clinical insight.

  And then came the medications that doctors worked so hard to develop. These mental health issues could simply not be understood by available science. So it was very much a trial and error process.

  Doctors and serpentologists alike